Many people don’t know this, but if I don’t get into either iLead or NOC, and if I couldn’t get a decent job at a start-up firm, I will go for a job at a PR firm doing branding and marketing. And just yesterday, I received a forwarded email that I thought was a good chance for me to showcase my PR abilities. LOL.
Check out this email.
where blacks are private information (names, contact numbers and event details), blues refer to the department from a student organisation. this email was sent to a person (let’s just call him C, HAHAHA) who works in a faculty’s office of a reputatable university of Singapore that recently did not make it into Financial Times rankings of business schools.
well, C was pretty nice about it and replied the student, linking the student up with the appropriate operations executive. however, C later emailed the president of the student organisation this….
where blocks in black are names of individuals involved, blue is the recipient’s department and purple is the organisation that is being complained about, which the recipient heads.
First up, I will point out what is not PR about this email:
1. C started real message on the defense
There was no accusation on C’s deparment on being self-centric. Imo, starting like this is like trying to tell the recipient that the initial request was selfish, irrational and was asking for a lot. Not too good a move to sound like you are branding the person who requested for help as a bad guy. I mean, who likes to be called the bad guy?
2. “Request might not be justifiable….”
Same analysis as point 1.
3. “which I presume that the center…..”
Same analysis as point 1, but this time, it seems to imply that the executive is not only a bad guy who wants a lot out of that department, the executive is also a bully who treats the department like a door mat cos the exec is too lazy to request the needed logistics from the venue. – -”
4. “hasn’t been in our good books..”
WOW. This is what I call trying to put people in their place. 0 respect.
5. Rude words in “”.
“Unique”, “put down”, “shame”. Just because they are in “” does not make them less “rude”. lol
6. “selecting and training your successors…”
Implying the president’s inability to groom up her members well. In fact, this sentence is an insult.
The style of the email is completely wrong, unless you want to leave a bad impression on others. Never should a decent marketer/business put other people down as these people are the ones who bring in your income. Also, nobody likes to be put in a bad light, nor be insulted about their capabilities.
And so, let me work my magic to improve on that email……
Hi ‘Enter Name’,
Just to note on the request put forth for ABC. I think it’s best that we mention to you since XYZ is under your leadership.
You would have read the earlier email that I have linked your operations people to my colleague from the facilities department on the request for the ABC CEO panel discussion. Hope the discussion goes well.
On the same matter, our office works to assist students in matters concerning not just their academic but CCA matters and we will be glad to be of some help in your endeavour. However, due to our department’s policy, we are highly unlikely to be able to provide the necessary logistics that you need as you may have already known, we will only be able to provide logistics if the event is held within DEF school. Perhaps you may want to look at alternative sources like the GHI building which the event will be held at, I guess that they may be of better help than us in this case.
In the recent years, we have been receiving several requests from XYZ that were beyond our scope of ability and this has been putting us in a tight spot. I hope you can understand that we have policies to be followed and to let your team members and your successor know.
We’re definitely always open to assist you and your team, not just at present but also in the future. I hope to seek your understanding on this matter.
OMG. my version is like 10 times better can?!. hais, all you need is to respect the other party and deal with the conflict in a humanistic way. you solve the problem and you make more friends. ;)I build Learnemy, an online marketplace that finds you the right instructors and classes in Singapore. Follow us on Facebook or Twitter